well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
