I wanna passion pit in your ass
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
one might say we're banned from that church
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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