The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
