Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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