I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
