we're blogging at a bar
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
