I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
