Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
