I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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