Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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