Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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