Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
