i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
