I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize