I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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