i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
