i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
