Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
