just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
