I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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