I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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