i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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