Tell her she can't have a vagina
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
