my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
