It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
