wrigley field is MILF paradise
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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