I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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