I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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