Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize