It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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