I want to make a zoo with you.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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