Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
