YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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