i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
