a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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