i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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