This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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