Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
