I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
its not stalking. its research.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Come on in and take your pants off
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