Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
