and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize