did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
