i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
