I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
