See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
