It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sext me about skeletons
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
