We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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