Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
