Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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