would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
