thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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