Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
