I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
