then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
