I think I am morally bankrupt
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
