there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She bit a glass in half.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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