you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
