According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
