Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When are your genitals available?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
