There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
