You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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