Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
