You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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