Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
