Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
