Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
