Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
