would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
