It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
