Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
