it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
