i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
