Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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