Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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