is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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