my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
