she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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