hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
