the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize