in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize